Why I am an artist – and why this question changed everything
A few weeks ago, I was lying by the lake with a friend on a warm summer day. The sun glistened on the water, and it was peaceful, but inside I felt anything but calm.
She looked at me and asked, "How are you?"
And instead of saying “Everything’s fine” as I often do, I took a deep breath and answered honestly:
"Honestly? I'm at a low point right now."
The moment I almost wanted to give up
I love my work as a linocut artist. But this day was difficult.
For months, no, years, I've felt like I've been running and running—but not really making any progress. Few orders, barely any money in my account. I try so many things, give it my all, and still the big breakthrough I long for never comes.
I asked myself: Why am I doing all this?
Release
At the lake, I told my friend that I was tired. That I wished things would get easier, that I felt like things were flowing.
And then a sentence came out of me that I had already thought the day before
"I let go. I trust that life will carry me wherever it wants me to go."
My friend smiled at me warmly and said, “Yes, Ilka, exactly.”
And then she pointed to her friend who was lying next to us:
“Just ask Benny. He’s a marketing specialist.”
And so it happened that we started talking by the lake, and after just a few minutes, ideas were bubbling over again. It was as if someone had turned the sun back on inside me.
The question that set everything in motion
A few days later, Benny and I had an intensive coaching session. Two hours of inspiration—and then came this one question that struck me right in the heart:
“Why are you doing all this?”
I thought about it. And suddenly I was back in my childhood. A time when I so often felt inadequate. Never smart enough, too fat, not lovable enough. I had few friends and spent a lot of time alone – luckily, I had animals by my side to support me. This feeling of being somehow wrong stayed with me for a long time.
My answer – and my biggest why
In my search for my "why," I got carried away, and then it came, this sentence, without me having planned it. It came from deep within, and the moment I said it, tears welled up in my eyes:
“If I can touch just one woman with my art—if she feels for a moment that she is valuable, just as she is—then my heart is full.”
And that's exactly what drives me, without even knowing it. For me, art isn't just a pretty picture. Art is a bridge—to yourself, to your own strength, to the feeling: I am enough.
And now my question to you
Have I already done that for you?
Has my art ever made you feel like you are good just the way you are?
Then be sure to write in the comments or email me. Your words mean more to me than you can imagine.
From the heart,
Ilka ❤️